You were one of the few people
I spoke to openly, honestly,
Without distilling the acrid parts
Of myself into something palatable
Actually, you were the first one
To tell me that was what I was
Doing with others
You have changed me, in
Small ways and big
I guess it’s not surprising,
Everyone I’ve met, I’ve talked to
Must have changed me, shaped me
In some way or another
But yours has been the most notable
Inside my own mind
You have made me confront
So many parts of myself
It has been angering, frustrating,
I’ve withdrawn so many times
But I think the amount of damage
You have done to my high outer walls
My shields of protection and distance…
Or maybe I myself did the damage,
But you’ve been a major cause,
I don’t think they will be
Rebuilt as high again
I think I’m at last beginning to feel
Okay with that fact, happy even
You’ve made me question the real
Meaning of friendship, of human connection
I once told you, before I could filter myself,
That we were not that close as friends.
I think that’s somewhat true even today
I’m not even sure we’ll ever cross paths again
To exchange more than generic pleasantries
(I do hope we will, though, hope
we will get to have more conversations)
But it won’t change the fact that
You’ve been an important part
Of my last few years here
This place already feels changed
With the thought of your absence
You will be missed.
Ashquill 